I identify as Native American and Mexican. Coming into this research project, I initially felt nervous knowing that I would be studying multiracial Asian American students' mental health because I do not identify as Asian American. I was excited to research this population’s mental health because I feel it is understudied and a lot of stigma surrounds it, but a part of me was nervous in that I would be overstepping my boundaries since I am not Asian American myself. This further translated into an event I attended in February 2022 called “APIMEDA Community Time: Cultivating Black x Asian Solidarities” where two guest speakers, Dr. Marissiko M. Wheaton and Dr. Mei-Ling Malone, both professors and scholars, spoke about their familial history, the model minority myth, adopting white beauty standards, and what solidarity looks like within Black and Asian communities. I initially felt a little nervous about the event, due to me not identifying as either Black or Asian and feeling as if I was invading a safe communal space, but my nerves went away as the event felt very secure and non-confining to identifying as Black and/or Asian, but rather a conversation and learning experience. This reassurance of “I can have these conversations as an observer” was further reinforced by Dr. Wheaton’s mention of her research, in which she, a Black and Asian American woman, was studying Asian American communities, yet would be questioned a lot about her relationship with her research due to her outward phenotypical looks aligning with a Black woman. She expressed how this was eye opening for her because people were used to “See[ing] Black People as the subjects”. Although I do not consider myself a subject persay, I do see how college students’ mental health being broken down through racial perspectives is an important subject to be studied, and this study does this through Asian American students, staff, and faculty at UCSD thoughts on the services and resources being provided for mental health.
By analyzing interview data transcripts, participant observations, content analysis, and observing interviews through this RAship, there are a couple emerging themes that I have seen. A common theme I saw emerge through this project is this duality of being biracial or multiracial. Being multiracial, students might feel the need to lean into one racial side more than the other, and finding that balance of identities can cause mental health struggles. In addition, the erasure of specified multi-races on UCSD Diversity Statistics does not help in that students who identify as more than one race are lumped together rather than broken down by what specific race they are. This is exemplified through the language noted in the “Student Ethnicity Collection and Reporting at UC” document explaining how aggregate data is reproduced, “A student’s primary race/ethnicity is determined by the left-most column in the table above of all the categories selected.” (Source: universityofcalifornia.edu). This categorization into the left-most column erases exploration of how a student might understand their other racial identities, further suppressing their lived experiences and may take a toll on a student’s mental health in how they understand their races.
When these mental health struggles arise, where can students go to seek help? A common source thrown around in discourse at UCSD is to use CAPS, or Counseling and Psychological Services. From interview data analysis, it seems as though CAPS is a good starting point for students seeking mental health, but the hump to get over is actually seeking the help available. There is a disparity in multiracial Asian American students seeking mental health help in that there is a taboo
Students who identify as biracial may see one side of themselves being darker than the other because of less connection to that culture, the other side being lighter because of more connection to that culture.
More than a statistic: there are real, living people behind the numbers represented for UCSD’s racial diversity statistics
surrounding discussions of mental health, as if it is meant to be kept “private”. A common theme I saw through this RAship was how when students did seek help for their mental health, they felt like they needed to be in a crisis state to justify them getting help. When help is sought, it might not meet the students expectations (examples of long wait times, too much paperwork, etc.) and further defer them from using and recommending UCSD’s mental health resources on campus. One student from an interview noted how personalization by a counselor could help fill this gap in a student being “just another number”. However, as UCSD is a large institution, our school might think one way about mental health but individual students do not think about mental health awareness in the same way.
For example, in March 2022, the organization Active Minds UCSD organized the “Send Silence Packing” Exhibit which is “a visually striking exhibit that includes personal stories from individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide and is designed to connect individuals to mental health resources and inspire action to suicide prevention” (ActivemindUCSD Instagram, 2022). This visual exhibit lays out backpacks with these stories within schools throughout the nation, and in particular this exhibit was displayed on Sun God Lawn at UCSD. Although Active Minds UCSD may have had good intentions in mind with showcasing this exhibit, some students felt the display was “awful and exploitative” (Reddit, 2022). In the Reddit Post titled “‘Send Silence Packing Exhibit’ is awful and exploitative (TW: Suicide)” Reddit user iamunknowntoo lays out three points critiquing the exhibit. First, they note how this exhibit may have done more harm mentally by triggering current people they know struggling with mental health issues, and noting that even the “alternative path” you can take to avoid seeing the backpacks still had the backpacks in eyeline view. Secondly, they critique the points Active Minds UCSD were trying to make with the exhibit, noting that everyone knows suicide is a big issue and how this exhibit perpetuates exploitiative pieces of media that supposedly spread awareness about suicide but actually do more harm then good. Lastly, they note how this exhibit ignores the larger institutional issues involved in suicide, noting how it is more than an individual problem and a matter of reaching out is not always accessible. They supplement this last point with examples of how CAPS, UCSD mental health services, have callen the cops on someone in a psychiatric crisis, have long wait times/too much paperwork, and tell students to get better by “breathing exercises and drink[ing] tea” (Reddit, 2022). They conclude their post demanding funding into better mental health resources that are not just an exhibit that reduces a whole phenomenon into a single act. Selected comments on this post note similar feelings of distress, and others think the event was well-intentioned. Even UCSD Student Health Services commented how Active Minds UCSD goal was “to create opportunities to talk and aid in healing” (Reddit, 2022) and included links to CAPS services and other mental health services hotlines and websites.
Although this is only one lengthy perspective about the “Send Silence Packing” exhibit, I think it reflects the larger theme of UCSD not understanding exactly what students want. Since UCSD is a large school, it might be more challenging to individualize a student’s experience and some students might fall through the cracks, whether that be mental health wise or academic wise. Spending $6000 on this exhibit may have been thought of as a good idea, but writer and commenters on this Reddit post note they wish that money went back into CAPS funding to hire more staff and create better programs. Although Redditers are critical of CAPS due to a poor reputation, they still want funding for the program in hopes of improving their reputation through more staff that can dedicate their time to individualize a student’s mental health needs.
Mental health support is more than just phrases, as seeking help sometimes might not be as easy for one person as it is for the other.
Source: r/UCSD Reddit
Overall, joining this research project has been a positive, encouraging learning experience. As a sociology student, I was nervous that all research available at UCSD had to be STEM-related (ex. working in a physical lab) and that I would not get an opportunity to work with the Sociology Department. However, after some research on the UCSD Sociology website, I found there were research apprentices needed. Nevertheless, as a second-year student, it was daunting applying due to lack of experience. After personally reaching out to Doreen, my PI, via email to talk more about her research project and becoming an addition to her team with the other RA, Vanessa, I felt extremely grateful that they took the time to collaborate with me and fill me in on this project. One challenge I encountered was getting caught up on duties Doreen had already explained to Vanessa, due to me starting the RAship halfway through Winter Quarter. Still, Doreen and Vanessa diminished this challenge for me by being patient and understanding while I was getting caught up reading data interview analysis documents and becoming accustomed to the duties of being an RA. These duties, specifically for this project, included finding excerpts from interviews that correlated to themes we saw emerge surrounding mental health in the AAPI community at UCSD, conducting/observing interviews with Doreen and writing field notes and reflections for them, and this Spring Quarter we did content analysis on a platform of our choosing. Even though we have assigned tasks each week, checking off our to-do lists did not feel like a chore, rather enjoyable work as I have learned a lot about the AAPI community at UCSD and the resources available to them (example: APIMEDA Programs and Services) and how Asian-identifying students and faculty view mental health. Since I do not identify as Asian American, the only services and resources I gravitated to throughout my current time at UCSD have been related to me being Native. I regularly visit the Intertribal Resource Center (ITRC), a supportive and communal space welcome to everyone, but with a focus on fostering community with UCSD’s Native students. These different cultural centers and programs have a tremendous impact on UCSD students wanting to learn and connect with other students like them. Using my knowledge of the ITRC and Native resources on-campus, I added a different perspective to discussions with my RA team about on-campus services. This project challenged me to get out of my comfort zone of just interacting with Native students, and rather added to a holistic understanding of the multicultural and multiracial student population at UCSD, particularly opening up a conversation about Asian-American mental health and how UCSD resources can be more personalized to such a large population makeup on campus.
A collage of a multiracial Asian woman, portraying multiple identities at once makes up her whole being.
Inherently Political Identities: Asian and Asian-American Experiences at UCSD